We all want some control over our lives. But for some people, the need for control becomes excessive and leads to controlling behaviors. This, in turn, damages trust in relationships and undermines the sense of autonomy and personal freedom.
While we can only change our own responses, understanding and recognizing controlling tactics is important.
Here are 25 insightful quotes about controlling people and how to deal with them.
Controlling behavior refers to attempts by one person to exert influence and power over another in order to impose their will. Controllers seek to restrict the other person’s freedom and autonomy through manipulation, criticism, possessiveness, threats, guilt trips, and other toxic tactics. They demand obedience, conformity, and dependence from the target of their control.
Controllers have an excessive need for dominance that stems from deep insecurities. By keeping others dependent on them, controllers create a false sense of power and importance. Controlling tactics may be driven by jealousy, trust issues, feelings of inadequacy, or the need to micromanage everything. Control makes abusers feel safe and mitigates their anxiety.
At its core, controlling behavior seeks to regulate, restrain, and subordinate others. It erodes trust and undermines healthy boundaries in relationships. The target feels suffocated, constrained and unable to be themselves. Over time, controlling dynamics can inflict deep psychological wounds, destroying self-esteem and confidence.
10 Quotes About Controlling People:
“Controlling people often use passive-aggressive behaviors to get what they want.” – Preston Ni
“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is.” – Unknown
“You can control someone by giving them your approval.” – David Hawkins
“I have no interest in trying to control people’s emotions or opinions.” – Sarah Kane
“Never allow someone’s unsound judgment about you to taint your perception of your own self-worth.” – Dodinsky
“Nobody who tries to control and dominate you is interested in your well-being.” – Iyanla Vanzant
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius
“When people try to control you, you are repelling them with your integrity not complying with their manipulation.” – Coleman Barks
“You cannot control someone else’s weakness. You can only control how you react to it.” – Jeffrey Fry
“Controlling partners often try to cut off outside friendships and family ties.” – Darlene Lancer
10 Quotes About Letting Go of Control:
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Epictetus
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” – Richard Bach
“When you let go of control and commit yourself to happiness, it all works out.” – Brian Tracy
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you.” – Brian Tracy
“The need for control takes persistence, energy and usually results in unhappiness.” – Ken Keyes Jr.
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” – Nathaniel Branden
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
“The more you take responsibility for your past and your future, the more you are able to create the present that you want.” – Oprah Winfrey
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal
5 Quotes About Dealing With Controlling People:
“The first step in dealing with an unhealthy relationship is to recognize that it is unhealthy.” – Darlene Lancer
“Never allow someone’s unsound judgment about you to taint your perception of your own self-worth.” – Dodinsky
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
Signs of Controlling Behavior:
Controllers exhibit certain behaviors that reveal their excessive need for power and control over others. Here are some common signs of controlling tactics:
Using threats, criticism, possessiveness, guilt trips, and other manipulation to impose their will. Controllers make frequent demands rather than requests.
Isolating the target from family/friends to increase dependence on them. They demand loyalty and priority.
Monitoring the target’s activities, demanding constant check-ins and details. This reflects their own insecurity.
Disregarding the needs, feelings, and boundaries of the target. It’s all about the controller’s wants.
Enforcing rigid conformity and obedience. Controllers can’t handle others making autonomous decisions.
Micromanaging everything in the target’s life. Controllers believe they know best.
Using anger, shame, or intimidation to frighten the target into compliance.
Excessive jealousy, demanding explanations for talking with other people.
How to Deal With Controlling People:
If you are the target of controlling behavior, here are some tips on coping:
Set clear boundaries and reinforce them consistently. Make it clear certain behaviors are unacceptable.
Avoid engaging in power struggles or reacting with anger/guilt. Stay composed.
Prioritize your own needs first – don’t compromise your well-being or values.
Cultivate meaningful connections separate from the controller for support.
Create physical/emotional distance from the controller if needed for your health.
Seek counseling support. Controllers likely won’t change without therapy.
Be prepared to end the relationship if controlling behavior persists. Your dignity matters.
The key is asserting your rights while disempowering their abusive tactics. With time and distance, you can reclaim your self-worth.
Conclusion:
Controlling behavior imposes pain and robs us of freedom. Yet, we can reclaim our power by enforcing boundaries, prioritizing self-care, connecting with supportive relationships, and upholding our self-worth.
Writer & Motivator with a goal of Inspiring and Helping 1 Million people across the globe to reach their goals.
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